Several behaviors and thought patterns signify an off-grid attitude, which can significantly hinder meaningful connections and collaborative efforts:

• Blame and Justification: Instead of owning up to our actions and their effects, there's a tendency to point fingers at others or the situation, justifying behavior and maintaining a sense of self-righteousness.

• Victimhood and Superiority: This involves oscillating between feeling oppressed by the world (victim) and viewing oneself as superior to others (top-dog), which can lead to a distorted self-perception.

• Objectification of Others: Viewing people merely as objects or obstacles, not recognizing their inherent worth or individual struggles, is a hallmark of being off-grid, enabling us to justify mistreatment or disregard.

• Defensive and Closed-Off Communication: Adopting a defensive stance blocks open dialogue and genuine connections, further fueling misunderstandings and conflict avoidance.

Remaining in an off-grid state not only limits personal growth and fulfillment but also deteriorates interpersonal relations and organizational health. It's essential to identify and move away from this attitude to maintain work environments rich in reliability, trust, cooperation, and mutual respect.

When we ignore and betray our inner guidance in favor of justifying inappropriate actions, we start making justifications as to why we didn't respect that feeling and move "off-grid." This misalignment can occur when we feel mistreated, such as being verbally attacked, interrupted, ignored, or used. It also occurs whenever we apply these same behaviors onto others.

These incidents present a choice: to act according to our values or to disregard them. When we choose the latter, we often elevate ourselves above others or portray ourselves as victims, leading to either a sense of entitlement or victimhood. This behavior disrupts connections and feeds separation, contrasting sharply with the inclusive and empathetic nature of being "in the heart."

Once "off-grid," we often become entrenched in narratives that justify our stance, whether it involves superiority or victimhood. These stories shape our attitudes and heavily influence how we perceive and interact with others.

Awareness of being off-grid is essential for healthy relationships and effective communication in any organization. Assumptions often lead to mistakes and conflicts because we base our reactions on personal interpretations rather than seeking clarity. When we are off-grid, we tend to justify our actions and wrongly position ourselves either superior or inferior to others.

There are several scenarios that signal behavior based on the off-grid attitude, including:

• Viewing oneself as a victim (inferior to the other person) or a hero (superior to the other person)

• Avoidance or giving up

• Engaging in conflict

• Over-analyzing or over-extending oneself

• Blaming others or labeling them

• Disingenuous behavior to appear like the better person

• Neglecting others' needs or feelings

• Ignoring problems or withdrawing from situations

• Seeing others merely as a means to an end

Recognizing these lightning bolts as indicators of being off-grid empowers us to take corrective action promptly. 

Consider various situations where you might find yourself off-grid.  What “lightning bolts” would you experience? What would your internal dialogue sound like? How would you react?

1. A team member misses a presentation, causing a gap in the schedule and crucial information during a meeting.

2. A colleague challenges your viewpoint on a topic you're knowledgeable about.

3. A lead developer needs unexpected time off due to child sickness as a project deadline approaches.

4. An employee alters a presentation without approval, adding their personal perspectives despite clear instructions to stick with the plan.

5. A scheduled activity overruns, the organizer is oblivious to time, disrupting your plans for the day.

6. Two assertive team members clash, requiring you to mediate for the fifth time this week.

In each case, the root causes—assumptions, miscommunication, or emotional reactions—stem from a lack of clarity and understanding. Instead of relying on assumptions ("I think"), moving towards certainty ("I know") can enhance our interactions and relationships.

Shifting our mindset from assumptions to informed understanding is critical. This requires active listening, questioning, and the willingness to build trust based on shared objectives and comprehensive insight.

By addressing these off-grid indicators head-on, we enhance our capability to maintain reliability within our teams and ensure effective collaboration throughout our interactions.

Behavior from an off-grid state can range from obvious conflicts to more subtle internal struggles. While some off-grids result in visible external and internal conflicts, others manifest as fleeting thoughts or mental replays of events. These more nuanced off-grids often involve negative emotions that must be managed before tackling the root problem.

Differences in off-grid experiences can also arise depending on whether they occur with strangers or close acquaintances. For example, if someone cuts you off while driving, you might react with an attitude of frustration or empathy. However, off-grid situations with loved ones can exacerbate past issues, leading to more intense emotional reactions that can strengthen our attitude whether it is positive or negative.

Off-grids can take many forms, from quickly resolved misunderstandings to deep-seated issues that persist for extended periods of months, years or decades. If left unresolved, off-grids tend to worsen over time. This makes it harder to exit the “off-grid” attitude. Even if we don’t communicate with the other person for a while, the next time we see them, the off-grid will ignite again, leading to increasingly severe outcomes, such as employees leaving their jobs, partners ending long-term collaborations, or family members cutting ties with each other.

However, by actively working on repairing and strengthening relationships, the same connections that suffer can recover and flourish.

When we fail to address off-grid attitudes, the impact can be substantial and long-lasting. These unresolved issues can lead to internal conflicts between colleagues, the dissolution of partnerships, and even interdepartmental strife.

Instead of channeling our efforts towards resolving these issues, we may find ourselves getting trapped in a cycle of creating negative or even worst-case scenarios and pointing fingers. This not only wastes creative energy but also prevents cooperation and undercuts a positive work environment.

It's imperative to tackle off-grids head-on before they grow into conflicts to maintain a culture that values productivity and mutual success.

A simple misunderstanding can cause major consequences:

• Two individuals in the company go into a personal conflict

• Partnerships are broken and companies divide in half

• People divorce

• Different departments in the company are at war with each other

• Energy is spent on making sure “the other” doesn't receive something instead of working towards common goals

Using our energy to create worst-case scenarios leads to a cycle of blame and storytelling, which overshadows the possibility of finding solutions. Energy that could be invested in creative endeavors is instead spent on perpetuating disagreements. It would be far more beneficial to resolve these conflicts and be able to focus all available creative energy on constructive cooperation.

When individuals are off-grid, they often adopt specific roles, such as victim or hero, and become fixated on those identities. This fixation can obstruct the path to resolving the actual issue. It’s impossible to focus on preserving this identity and finding a solution for the situation at the same time.

The realization that one is off-grid should serve as a wake-up call, a moment when it becomes clear that one has strayed from shared objectives and lost touch with what is truly beneficial for everyone involved. 

Individuals who are off-grid often seek out others who affirm their self-justified perspective, forming what can be referred to as an "ego band." This group serves to reinforce one's beliefs and typically opposes the other party involved in the conflict. Even if the group members weren't initially off-grid with the specific person, they can “jump into” the individual’s off-grid and start to see the person as part of the problem as well. 

Such dynamics can elevate a personal disagreement to an organizational level, polarizing groups and potentially cleaving a company in two or driving it out of business. It's crucial to avoid engaging in these echo chambers and, instead, nurture objectivity and guide others towards constructive dialogue and solutions.

Recognizing and addressing behavior from off-grid requires self-awareness and an understanding of our emotions and the signs of being off-grid. Obvious indicators include yelling in meetings or abruptly leaving a room.

Other signs, such as passive-aggressive actions, manipulation, refusal to consider other perspectives, or positioning oneself as superior to others, also point to off-grid dynamics.

In a session designed to navigate through multiple steps of a decision-making process, such as goal setting and risk management, three individuals were involved. Two of them actively engaged while one was not integrated into the discussion effectively. Despite awaiting her turn, the third participant remained silent until she was finally approached for input, to which she responded passively, stating she had "nothing more to add at this point."

This incident highlights a typical off-grid scenario where a seemingly insignificantly small disturbance such as feeling excluded from the conversation leads to a serious setback for the team. There was no obvious conflict behavior being displayed, yet the unuttered tension of the off-grid was palpable.

Rather than addressing the issue promptly, the off-grid resolution was postponed, exacerbating the individual's sense of exclusion and self-blame.

A situation unfolded where, despite a consensus on the messaging for a particular issue, the content was slightly altered in the presence of a specific individual to avoid offending them. This modification, intended to maintain harmony, inadvertently caused those originally involved in the decision to feel betrayed and fall off-grid with the person communicating.

Being off-grid, some tried to correct the situation by overriding the message with their version, while others advocated against the message, leading to confusion and leaving the conversation in a gridlock.

This is an example of how even minor changes in communication can trigger off-grid reactions among team members.

During a project assignment decision, a leader chose to allocate responsibilities to someone other than the initially designated individual, believing the other person would yield faster and superior results. This decision sparked resistance and confrontation from the overlooked employee.

Faced with this pushback, the leader recognized their own off-grid attitude — a silent doubt in the initially designated person’s capabilities. This prompted a reevaluation of their decision to realign trust and open communication within the team.