The In The Heart Attitude: Aware of Oneself and Others
Being in the heart is the natural human state of being. When in the heart, one is aware of one’s own actions, goals, desires and fears - as well as those of others. This doesn't necessarily mean that one agrees with the goals and desires of others. It only means that their goals are taken just as seriously, deemed as important as one’s own.
Being in the heart is a progress-inducing state because one is open to insights, ideas from others, and therefore perceives others as portals to solutions (rather than as obstacles). Therefore, no convincing is needed for one to be incentivized to create connections, build bridges, and respect others as people firstly. A team working in the heart is able to focus on common goals and co-creations instead of judging differences or competing.
Embracing an attitude of "being in the heart" can dramatically improve reliability and at least double the potential for collaboration within an organization. This approach builds a more empathetic, open, and connected organizational culture.
Imagine a web of individuals, all connected through the heart. No one is better or worse, everyone is a human. When we disconnect from this web we fall into the abyss preoccupied with our destructive attitude—we go off-grid. Our light goes off and we enter the word of self-justification.
Daily Opportunities for Positive Interactions
Each day presents multiple opportunities to genuinely connect with and positively impact those around us. Actions such as holding an elevator door, sending a supportive email, or acknowledging someone's efforts are key moments where we engage with others compassionately.
These gestures, stemming from a compassionate core we refer to as "being in the heart," involve seeing others as human and acting upon our best instincts. This approach doesn't involve ignoring negative emotions but rather managing them with integrity and authenticity. It is about maintaining healthy boundaries and ensuring our actions align with personal values and organizational goals, even under challenging circumstances.
Shifting Focus Toward Internal Reflection
“Being in the heart” requires a shift from blaming external factors to engaging in self-reflection. This is achieved by posing two questions:
How am I the problem?
How am I the solution?
This paradigm shift involves acknowledging our contributions to problems and taking responsibility for our emotional responses. The goal is to act thoughtfully and encourage similar behaviors from others, creating solutions instead of perpetuating problems.
Handling Moments of Being "Off-Grid"
Drifting "off-grid" is a rapid and widespread occurrence that narrows our perspective, akin to wearing blinders. Once we return to the heart, our focus and perspective widen, allowing us to see the situation from different angles and perspectives again. But first, recognizing when we've shifted away from being “in the heart” is the necessary step towards realignment. This process involves identifying and questioning the narratives and attitudes that underpin our behavior.
It's vital to note that any behavior can manifest from either an “in the heart” or "off-grid" attitude, although certain behaviors more naturally align with each.
How to Get Back In the Heart
Step 1: Recognizing Disconnection
The first step in realigning your attitude involves recognizing when you're "off-grid" with another person or thing. Acknowledge this state by identifying your unique personal signals or indicators of disconnection (your “lightning bolts”).
Step 2: Creating a Space for Reflection
When addressing your off-grid, it's crucial to find a distraction-free zone. This place should allow you to focus and avoid any further deepening of the off-grid attitude. Preferred environments vary by individual and can include activities like walking in nature or listening to music.
Step 3: Engaging in Self-Reflection
To reconnect with your core values and constructive attitudes, ask yourself these introspective questions:
What is important for me, what are my desires, my goals?
What am I good at (three attributes)? / What good am I contributing?
What am I afraid of? What causes stress for me?
Step 4: Understanding the Other Person
Extend the self-reflection exercise to include the person you're “off-grid” with. Strive to see them as whole and understand their desires, strengths, and fears. This humanizes them and moves beyond viewing them as merely an object, obstacle, or part of the problem.
What is important for them, what are their desires, their goals?
What are they good at (three attributes)? / What good are they contributing?
What are they afraid of? What causes stress for them?
Step 5: Establishing a New Perspective
By comparing insights gained about yourself and the other person, look for commonalities and own the accountability for your contributions to the off-grid. Evaluate the situation based on facts rather than assumptions, aiming for a broader and more objective understanding.
Can we see that we are alike?
In what ways did I contribute towards going further away from common goals?
What was the situation really about? Am I working from assumptions?
Step 6: Taking Action for Resolution
Action is essential for resolving the off-grid. Failing to act will only perpetuate the off-grid state. Unresolved off-grids will persist, resurfacing whenever you encounter the person you’re off-grid with. Off-grids can occur swiftly, so it's essential not to shy away from addressing them when they arise.
